Freud once said that no one could be a man unless his father had died. Jung agreed, but added that this death could take place symbolically.
When I first faded, I was still thoroughly indoctrinated with the idea that my parents' perception of me mattered. The way they did or did not approve of me held final dominion over my mood, actions and self perception.
I just didn't realize how defined I was by the whole Witness idea of Jesus still being under his parents' household when he was thirty, and that I should alway respect my elders because, hey, what the hell do I know?
So, in spite of doctrinally waking up, I was still willing to maintain that tyrant/slave relationship with my parents. That dynamic always forced me to be inferior because, on the one hand, you've always got the judge watching you, and on the other hand, there's always someone who knows what to do and how it should be executed. And in that setup, it was my parents.
The progress in consciousness came when I learned the hard way that when it comes to exiting Watchtower and fathoming its lies and manipulation, my parents not only didn't know any more on the matter than what I did, but they actually knew far less. It was at that point that I had conceivably outgrown them.
That's when the symbolic death of my parents took place. I had to let go of that image of perfection and godlike influence they had over me. And that exposed me to growing up in the deep end and learning real fast what it means to be, not an orphan, but an individual in the truest sense.
